


Livin' La Vida Loca

by STOPiamreading



Category: Who Killed Markiplier? (Web Series), YouTube- Markiplier, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Romance, Best Friends, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Friends, Crime, Dark is done with Wilford's shit, Dark pines after Wilford, Friendship/Love, Gen, Immortality, Immortals, Knife Mention, Light Angst, M/M, Male Friendship, Mark Fischbach Egos, Mild Blood, Mild Language, One-Sided Attraction, POV Alternating, POV Male Character, POV Multiple, POV Third Person, Past Lives, Pining, Post-Who Killed Markiplier?, Pre-Who Killed Markiplier?, Unrequited Love, Who Killed Markiplier?, gun mention, murder mention, theme of old photographs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STOPiamreading/pseuds/STOPiamreading
Summary: The door to the Mayor's office slammed open, the chittering voice of his secretary calling from outside. "Sir, he's back again!"The Colonel entered.The broad smile on his face was partially hidden by his bushy black mustache. Damien sighed with a knowing yet somewhat weary smile. William plopped down onto the Mayor's desk and shimmied a bit on top of the once-neat pile of papers."Damien! So nice to see you again, it's been a while, hasn't it!" the Colonel exclaimed, as if he didn't invade the Mayor's workplace a few days before."What did you do this time, old friend?"
Relationships: Celine | The Seer & Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel, Celine | The Seer/Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel, Damien | The Mayor & Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel, Damien | The Mayor/Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel, Darkiplier & Wilford Warfstache, Darkiplier x Wilford Warfstache, Darkiplier/Wilford Warfstache, Wilford Warfstache | William J. Barnum | The Colonel/Other(s), darkstache
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Livin' La Vida Loca

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about all the Darkstache content. Actually, I'm not sorry, I just really love these two and they're one of my main ego ships. But do you know what I like even more? One sided Darkstache with a pining Dark while Wilford's blissfully unaware and getting into relationships and affairs with every other person so Dark painfully watches for centuries because he knows that Wilford doesn't return his feelings so he does his best to be Wil's friend instead and make him happy that way. Like wow, painfully a mood, amirite? Also, friends (really old friends) to lovers trope? That's the good shit right there.

The door to the Mayor's office slammed open, the chittering voice of his secretary calling from outside. "Sir, he's back _again!_ "

The Colonel entered.

The broad smile on his face was partially hidden by his bushy black mustache. Damien sighed with a knowing yet somewhat weary smile. William plopped down onto the Mayor's desk and shimmied a bit on top of the once-neat pile of papers.

"Damien! So nice to see you again, it's been a while, hasn't it!" the Colonel exclaimed, as if he didn't invade the Mayor's workplace a few days before.

"What did you do this time, old friend?"

"Oh, you caught me there, you know me all too well! I just need a teensy, tiny favor. Hey, don't look at me like that! It's not _that_ bad, I swear! I was being my usual self an' I might've got some charges placed for 'disturbing the peace'," he drawled with air quotes and an over the top eyeroll, "as if _that's_ a real offense or something. Now, I'm not going to go into the minute details of what happened –trust me, you don't want to hear it, at least not now- but if you could, y'know, do somethin' about it, I would be much obliged."

Damien sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and sinking further back into his chair. He then looked around as if checking for any eavesdroppers. Satisfied with this assessment, he glared up at William with as much authority as he could muster.

"You are aware that this is illegal, yes? I cannot keep breaking the law for you, I'm the _Mayor_ ," the Mayor hissed.

"I know, I know," the Colonel replied impatiently, "but I can't _not_ keep breaking the law!"

"That much is certain."

There was a pause as William stared at Damien with what could only be called puppy dog eyes. The Mayor had no idea how such a burly mustached man was able to pull off the cutesy look, but somehow he made it work. Damien thought that he'd become impervious to it after having to deal with it for the past several decades. Apparently not. 

"Only because you're dating my sister," the Mayor surrendered. He sighed again for what felt like the fiftieth time that day, leaning forwards and resting his elbows on the desk. William laughed with a faraway look in his eyes.

"She'd rip my heart out if she knew I was getting' her little baby brother to cover for me," the Colonel said fondly, "Many thanks, I owe you one! Actually, it's probably a lot more than one now. Y'know, you're my 'friends in high places', not just because you're an all-important mayor, I mean it literally; you're a real-life angel that's too nice for his own good!" 

"Stop it," Damien replied bashfully, questioning that last statement and wondering briefly if he was being used. 

"Only for you, my fine feathered friend," the Colonel joked with a cheeky grin. This earned him a light swat on the arm and a playful scowl from the Mayor. "Are you coming to dinner later?"

"...Mayhaps."

"You ought to! It'll do you some good, you've been buried in work and stress for the past month, probably worried about Mark, no doubt. C'mon Dames, live a little! Just an evening with Celine and I?" William encouraged, patting a hand on Damien's shoulder with a somewhat worried look.

Damien glanced at the paperwork that the Colonel was partially sitting on. He had a meeting with the city council the next day resolving some issues with fund allocation and several forms to sign to appoint Y/N as the new district attorney. But William was making _that_ look again, and how could he refuse?

"I'll see what I can do."

"That's the spirit! Many thanks for everything, Damien!" the Colonel hollered, sliding off the desk and knocking down some of the Mayor's papers in the process, "I'll tell you how I allegedly 'disturbed the peace' later on tonight!" 

William pulled Damien into a short (emphasis on the "short") hug, scampered away, waved from the doorway with a "buh-bye!", and slammed the door behind him in a whirlwind of motion. 

Damien hauled himself out of his seat to pick up the papers that had fallen from William's exit. He heard his secretary scold the Colonel for interrupting his work all the time outside the closed door. William chuckled in his usual deep timbre. 

"'All work and no play makes our Mayor a very dull boy'. He's been holed up in there all day so the least I could do is bring the fun to him, and I'm 'fun' personified!" 

Even behind the closed door Damien could hear his secretary sigh, and he imagined the polite tight-lipped smile that was probably on her face. "That is very considerate of you, sir. However, it would be appreciated if you could at least schedule your visits in advance so we could accommodate you. The Mayor is a very busy man, as you know."

"Never too busy for me!" Damien listened to the Colonel's footsteps bound away. He made a mental note to give his secretary a raise as he smiles softly despite himself. William was all too right.

The Mayor collapsed back down in his chair, eyeing the stack of work with mild distain. He glanced at a black framed image on his desk: a recent photograph of him, William, and Celine. The Colonel's arms slung around Damien and Celine's shoulders with an unintentionally excessive amount of force, causing the pair of siblings to blur from the sudden movement. Damien was startled, Celine seemed to anticipate it with a smirk, and William had the same boisterous laugh.

Mark was out of the picture. Things had been mournfully tough for the actor and Damien frequently visited his manor to check up on the former cuckold. The Mayor did have a duty to his city, yes, but he also felt that he had one to his friends and sister, a job that he may have neglected a little.

_I guess I_ _could_ _spare an hour or so for dinner. It_ has _been a while since I spoke to Celine…_

But first he had some calls to make for the Colonel.

* * *

The door to Dark's office slams open, deepening the dent in the wall where the doorknob smashed into it. 

Wilford enters.

The lopsided grin on his face was partially hidden by his perfectly curled pastel pink mustache. Wilford waltzes into the room and scooches himself into Dark's desk, wiggling his ass on the flat surface for good measure. 

Dark doesn't look up from his array of documents and photos spread on the table.

"What did you do this time, Wil?"

"Aww, how'd you guess?" Wilford whines as Dark subtly flips some of the papers over." Well, since you asked, I might've kinda maybe accidentally shot a guy. And then shot his wife after she found out I was having a fling with her husband when she was cheating on him with me, you know how the story goes. I don't think you'd want to hear the details, trust me, it ain't pretty. But if you'd be so kind as to help me with the clean-up before the cops come, that'd be great."

"Again?" Dark sighs, "That's the second time this month, not including that run-in with the police and that failed interview of yours."

"It's not that ba-"

"Is it not? You killed at least 10 people this month including the two you just shot and it's only the 15th. That is already above your monthly quota. We talked about this, Wilford," Dark says in a matter of fact tone of exasperation.

"Actually about that," Wilford says boisterously while whipping out a small knife slick with blood, "I stabbed 'em too. They didn't see that double whammy comin', that's for sure!"

Dark pinches the bridge of his nose with his eyes closed. He mumbles something along the lines of "Why do I even..." Though Dark already knows the answer to that. He sighs.

"Fine, I will help you," Dark finally grumbles out, "But just so we're clear, you are not to kill, murder, or otherwise maim anyone else this month unless I specifically say you can or for self-preservation. I hope you're aware of how much of an asshole you can be sometimes."

Wilford's eyes seem to light up at Dark's surrender. He grins widely and full of energy.

"Thanks Darky, for everything! I knew a part of you wuvs me~" Wilford teases, pursing his lips and fluttering his lashes jokingly. He even pokes Dark in the chest for good measure, and the suited entity didn't slap the hand out of the way like he usually would.

Dark's gaze softens and he looks down at the papers on his desk. For a brief moment the ends of his lips curled upwards in a fond smile. 

He mutters in almost a whisper, unaware of the words coming out of his mouth. 

"Both parts of me do."

"What?"

"It's nothing." Dark's expression returns to its neutral state.

He pushes away the painful feeling of déja vu and nostalgia from better times. Even as decades passed, the man known as Wilford (for now) remained fundamentally the same. Dark, on the other hand, was chaos incarnate and was glad if there was a day where the multiple beings in his broken sack of flesh and bone actually steadied themselves rather than swirling tumultuously like the winds in a hurricane. Wilford was predictable in his crazy unpredictableness, always on the verge of breaking. Dark had always been broken.

Maybe it was fate that their paths crossed and that they kept walking in the same well-worn circles time and time again. Maybe it would be like this for all eternity, as it didn't look like the two of them were going to die any time soon. Dark was glad, it was better than being alone. And as much of a pain in the ass Wilford was sometimes, he couldn't imagine anyone better to spend an eternity with.

"Hey Dark, you comin'? We've got a crime to cover up!"

Dark snaps up at the sound of Wilford's voice. Wilford was already standing in front of the desk and rocking impatiently on the balls of his feet. 

Dark pushes his chair out and stands up on stiff legs, tilting his head side to side with a gritty cracking sound. He strides over to Wilford with a final sigh and puts a hand on his shoulder. 

The two of them teleport away in a cloud of black smoke, leaving a breeze in its wake. It gently shifts a few papers on Dark's desk and causes some of them to slide to the floor. One of them flips over. It's an aged photograph of a mayor, a seer, and a colonel kept in pristine condition. The border of the picture was a few shades lighter than the rest of the image from being untouched by the light. 

On the desk there is also an impossibly old picture frame newly repainted black. It's a new photograph full of vibrant color and crisp detail. In it Wilford hugs Dark with a beaming smile at the camera while Dark, looking stiff and uncomfortable, tries to push him away. Even so, he glances directly at an oblivious Wilford, soft and sad as if recalling something lost from long ago. He was crazy, they were both crazy, but so was life.

**Author's Note:**

> I strive to have the dynamic partners in crime vibes that Dark and Wilford have! Tell me, are you the Dark or Wilford in a relationship/friendship? I'm basically Dark (I wear trenchcoats instead of suits, but I'd love to wear suits if I had any that fit) and Wilford's kinda my type in real life so I project onto them a lot. Applications are open for anyone interested in being my Wilford, more details to follow haha jk lol... unless...


End file.
